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I am Iffah. I'm philosophical. :D.

Missed?

Saturday, June 30, 2007 4:35 PM / to top

Woah!...I must be crazy...
I think I was the only one in my estate that woke up at 5.30 a.m on a Saturday morning...I had to so I could go to school for the Cultural Fiesta...
my outfit: red polo shirt, black Ferregamo belt,blue jeans and hot pink high top converse shoes...which didn't really rock...
I woke up very early so that we (as in class) could prepare for the folkdance competition...
I don't really want to explain what happened during that time...too long...we danced and got second place...and got...guitar shaped correction tapes...-_-"...
MIGHT AS WELL NOT GIVE RIGHT?!...grrr...work so hard get correction tape..."!@#$%^&*"...so after the dancing we were suppose to visit aesthetics booths...and I was looking for Nat(Nathaniel)...we had an agreement the night before to wear high cut shoes so that we can take photos of them and blog about it...finally saw him and took photo...
after that or before that ,I'm not sure, I went to the canteen and took photographs of the ever-tall Nathan, ever-egoistic Shaufy , ever-noisy Cassius and my never-forgotten friends...and we went to the hall for the Kranji Idol finals...and RAIMI WON!...based on performance...and then got more stuff happen...then it was over!...
I went to my primary school...South View Primary...because an open house was happening...it was fun...
met my decade known friend, Nadiah, and my more than half a decade known friend Farid Azfar and Zamrooth a.k.a ZamZam...my best friends like Raihana...my good friends like Hanafi and my beloved Mdm Ling...
I felt alot of different feelings when I went back...I missed my school...I missed everything about it...all those memories I had there...
I've been there for almost one decade...alot has happened in that time span...
crushes, failing, passing, success, mourning...just pure feelings...in some rare cases there is love...but I'm not sure if it really was for those people...maybe they were having an illusion...maybe they were just imagining what was not right...what was not suppose to happen...maybe...they did fall in love...
primary school kids + love = disaster
I'm hoping that this someone is not reading this...
after more than 6 months...there were no feelings just memories...
Now I'm not very sure anymore...that person just looks so different...
from what I remembered him to be...to what he is now...
How can this happen?
THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN!
but why do I feel the feelings I felt back then?
damn it...
I'm only 13...and I can't believe I'm saying all this...neither am I suppose to be saying this...
I cannot do this to myself...
I must know control...
I will only love when I am of age...
knowing love takes a long time...not 13 years...
Love is not just about the guy carrying your bag, not about the guy escorting you to your doorstep, not about the guy following you everywhere, not about the guy giving you nice presents...
There is more to love than that...if that was the case...well then there won't be divorces...
Love is what keeps couples together till their golden years and longer...
Right now its not love...just adolescent crushes...
like what Nathaniel said..."SINGLE" is my favourite word in secondary school...
It should be my favourite word right now...
or something bad will happen...I know I can't handle "TAKEN"...
because I know...I'm just not ready...
I will only be when I am of age...only then will I know...

P.s : If anybody knows who he is...please don't tell him...I know you understand...